There are approximately 3.3 million videos that come up when you search “Rap Battle” in YouTube and, were I to guess, I’ve seen all of them. I saw the one where the one guy knocks out the other one. I saw the one where Darth Vader goes against Hitler. I saw the rap battle parody that everyone watched. I saw the one(s) where the white guy says “nigga” while battling the black guy. I’ve seen all of the rap battle videos. ALL OF THEM. Which is why everything in this list about imagining rap battles is so much closer to “fact” than to “speculation.” That’s a little thing called utmost journalism.
Canibus ’98 vs Eminem ’98
Canibus is for sure a pitbull, but, BUT, nobody on the planet is going to beat Hungry Eminem in a rap battle. Good fight, but only like how a fight is a good fight when one guy gets the shit kicked out of him but never gets knocked out and so you just kind of admire his heart. That kind of good fight.
Winner: Eminem, because are you even serious?
Eminem vs. Macklemore
Eminem vs. Everyone
Drake vs. Kendrick Lamar
Kendrick Lamar (also a tiny guy) was built by hand by rap monsters for this sort of thing. Much as I love (and sincerely care about) Drake, Kendrick would rip his feet from his legs here.
Winner: Kendrick, because nobody not named EMINEM isn’t afraid of him right now.
See the full list on Complex